From Pain, Comes Joy

Have you ever noticed just how much life can change in the matter of seconds?

How you learn to guard your heart, because someone broke it. How you learn to make people earn your trust, since so many others have shattered that easily given trust. How you learn to pray continuously (and try your hardest to do so) because there is no way you can do life on your own. How you learn that life is always changing, and so are the people who become a part of it.

Over the past year I have encountered many situations where I have fallen flat on my face in pure vulnerability and brokenness. I would have been the happiest I could ever remember being, then all of a sudden I’m flat on my face again. I didn’t get why. What did I do wrong to deserve all of this hurt? Why did God put people in my life that were just breaking my heart, seemingly, every time I turned around? Why did he have me going to a camp where I was falling in love with children who could be taken from me at any second? I didn’t understand why it had to hurt so bad. Then I came across a quote,

“I will not cause pain without allowing something NEW to be born, says the Lord."

I came across this quote just days ago, and ever since it has been the background on my phone. I have been in pain, but I know that God is doing something in my life. He is changing something, which is causing me pain, but he is making room for something NEW. I have no idea what that something new is. But I can only imagine how amazing it is going to be, considering that which is being change in my life right now.

In Sun Stand Still, Steven Furtick says,

“When God removes something from our lives,

It’s not because He is trying to take away something good.

It’s because he is trying to make room for something better.”

            I want you all to know that when you come to a point in your life where you feel like God is stripping something from your life, it doesn’t mean that that thing is always bad. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely bad things in our lives that we need to be rid of, but those aren’t the things I am talking about. I’m talking about the perfect job we have had that all of a sudden is gone, or the strong friendship that you had with your best friend that all of a sudden is nonexistent, or maybe your child unexpectedly passes away. These things that God takes from us aren’t BAD things, but He has this ultimate plan that we can’t see, and he needs to strip us of these things in order for his plan to be put into action.

            Believe me, it doesn’t make losing those things any less painful. But it may give you peace in your heart knowing that God is at work in your life.

            I can look at my struggles and my heart aches now and be glad that I go through those times because that is when I see God working in my life the most. I see these things happening and I am in so much pain, and yet I can’t help but smile knowing that God is in control and he is working.

            I definitely have my days where I just break down in a pool of tears because it still hurts, but I have to pick myself up, and wipe up my tears and pray to God asking him to carry me through. Because I know he has something on the other side that is a more beautiful outcome than I could ever imagine.

            I want everyone to be able to have such a strong faith, that even though we can’t see the outcome, we still take the steps God lays in front of us. Take those steps up the staircase even though you can’t see where they lead.

           

Hebrews 11:1

       Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  

God didn’t say it would be easy, but He said that He would carry us through.

Have You Seen My Scars?

Have you seen my scars?
You may not see them, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. 
They came through a great deal of pain, agony, and sorrow.
And yet, 
they remind me that there is a better tomorrow. 
Without these scars I wouldn't have learned the lessons I have 
And I wouldn't be the person that I am. 
And the scars I have yet to have 
Will turn me into the person that I am meant to be
I look forward to those days 
Where I find my way and turn into the Girl God wants me to be
Hopefully, 
A Proverbs 31 woman!

Random thoughts from the last hour or so!

Unconditional....No Strings Attached!

I recently went to the college group at my church. Our pastor spoke on God’s love for us.

            We all know that there are many of us out there that have never felt loved…they have never seen or felt what it is like to be loved. As our pastor spoke about this, it got me to think…I grew up and lived my whole life in a family environment where I was loved and I knew I was loved and I felt I was loved…I don’t have a clue what it feels like to not be loved…or to be told I was unimportant, a mistake, unworthy,…unloved…I have never felt loveless.

            I could just picture a little girl sitting in her room on her bed clutching her only comfort in her arms…a teddy bear her older brother gave her just before he left. She could still remember his last words to her “every time you need a hug and I’m not around to give you one, squeeze this teddy bear tight and remember how much I love you.” The only person who ever loved her…left her. I could imagine her parents being alcoholics or drug addicts. Drowning their seemingly pitiful lives with their addictions. Drowning out their lives around them. While in their drunkenness, telling their own daughter, who is just a little girl, that she was a mistake. That they never have, and never will love her. All she wants is her big brother back…but he never comes to save her…causing her to become angry, hard, and calloused towards the only person who had ever shown her love.

            I could never imagine going through that. The feeling of being unloved is unfathomable to me.

            But just the thought of that makes my heart break for the many who live that life everyday.

            Our pastor continued to tell us that even though there are many who have never felt the love of Christ, the love of a man who gave his life for us, there are also many of us who have felt the love of our savior. So hearing about Christ’s love was nothing new to us. He kept going by saying that the fact that Christ loves us is only the very surface of the depth of his love for us.

            Something we often don’t realize is that God’s love for us causes him to unconditionally pursue us.

            He used the example of the life of Hosea. God told Hosea (in the first few chapters of the book of Hosea) to take a prostitute as his wife, and to love her and to cherish her. We wonder why God told him to do this but he did it anyways. He took a woman named Gomer, a prostitute, as his wife. But, she continued to live the life of a prostitute and left him to be with other men. Again, God told him to go find her, bring her home, and love her. And he did.

            His point was, that this is an example of Gods love for us. That no matter how many times we leave God. No matter how many times we walk away from him, he will still pursue us. Because he loves us that much. We could do the worst things we could think of, and God will still be standing there with his arms open wide waiting for us to come home. He loves us that much.

            I just want you all to think about, how, many of us have experienced God’s love. If you haven’t I want to urge you to experience it now and ask Jesus into your heart. He wants to know you so personally it’s unreal. But, for those of us who have experienced God’s love, I want you to think about how no matter what you do, God will ultimately always pursue you. He will always be standing with his arms stretched out wide, ready to welcome you back.

Leavin' Never Comin' Back Again

I can't tell you why people come into our lives just to rip us apart and then walk away and not look back. I can't tell you why we get our hearts broken. I can't tell you why bad things happen to us or the people around us...but ive been thinkin about that stuff tonight.
I think back on my highschool years wondering why so many things happened. Why did my grandma have to die....and why did my grandpa have to go with her not even a year later?
Why did some friends decide to use me the way they did? Why did a friend and a boyfriend have to break my heart?
Well ill tell you one thing i knew when these things happened...i thought to myself, "I will never heal from this. I will never feel better again, i will never open up to anyone ever again, and i will never be ok."
Of course this was right after all these events happened. As time went on, I learned every time, without fail, that whatever i was leaning on for strength was not what i was suppose to be trusting in. My focus had been lost, my path distorted, and i didnt know how to get back to where i had been before.
These events happened and i was literally thrown off course, i was no longer focusing on my best friend...father...and creator God. I had been focusing on the hurt that was left in the aftermath of the hurricane that struck my life at that moment.
One minute i would be focused, then the next my whole life would be uprooted and thrown upside down and i wouldnt know where to turn. Well i figured out where to lock my gaze...and that is on God.
So let me tell you what i DO know about these things...I may not know why people come into our lives just to rip us apart and walk away...but i do know that in the long run, those people make us stronger by what they do to us...and i may not know why the people we love get taken away from us...but i DO know that God takes them home with him, because he knows that is the best way that he can love them...and...i may not know why our hearts get broken...but i DO know that God CAN heal our hearts and make them new again, and only he can take away that pain.
God has a bigger plan for you than you could ever dream for yourself.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Everlasting

I have LOVED you with an everlasting love. Before time began, I knew you. For years you swam around in a sea of meaninglessness, searching for Love, hoping for hope. All that time I was pursuing you, aching to embrace you in My compassionate arms. 

When time was right, I revealed myself to you. I lifted you out of that sea of despair and set you down on a firm foundation. Sometimes you felt naked--exposed to the revealing light of my presence. I wrapped an ermine robe around you: my robe of righteousness. I sang you a love song, whose beginning and end are veiled in eternity. I infused meaning into your mind and harmony into your heart. Join me in singing my song. Together we will draw others out of the darkness into my marvelous light.

Jeremiah 31:3 the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting Love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

Isaiah 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

~~Jesus Calling By: Sarah Young~~

Truely Seeing, Truely Listening

When you look at someone, are you truely seeing them? For who they really are, not just who they appear to be on the outside.
When you hear a friend talking, do you really listen? I mean truely listen to their problems so that you might be able to help rather than tuning them out.
I have seen so many people get passed by in the halls that are silently screaming out for someone to help them. Yet everyone is too self consumed to stop and even say hi. Sadly i have also been one of those people that walks right by without even cracking a smile.
You want your friends to listen to you when you talk right? if you have a problem or even just have some good news or just wanna talk you hope that they would listen to you. So why dont you listen to them. Why is it so easy for us to think about ourselves and what we have to say. Why is it so easy for us to totally disregard what our friends really have to say? And when they do say things, why do we dwell on all the negatives they have to say? Why dont we look past the negative things they have said or done and try to see them for who they really are.
When you look at your friends at school, do you see just their apperance? Or do you see deeper? Just cause someone dresses a certain way doesnt mean that you have the right to critisize them. Especially your friends, you shouldnt judge them purely on their apperance, i mean you are friends, i would hope that no one judges their friends.
Everyone makes mistakes, everyone says things they dont mean, so will you be the person that finally accepts the fact that no one is perfect and forgive those that have harmed you and move on? There is no need to dwell on things in the past, we are all God's children and Jesus gave his LIFE for us. Something we obviously didnt and dont deserve. So why cant we look past these little imperfections that we all have and accept eachother for who we really are. When we look at our friends, and others as well, can we try and really SEE them? And when others are talking, can we make an effort to truely LISTEN? There could be something really truely important that they need to talk about. They could be going through something really tough and they just need a friend to listen.
Dont look at the imperfections that we all hold inside, look past those and straight to the heart of those around you. Im sure that you will find some truely amazing people right in front of you that you never saw because you were too busy thinking of yourself.
That girl in the hall that looks like she is scared to death, maybe try giving her a smile as you walk by. Or that boy in your lunch that always sits by himself, invite him to eat lunch with you and your friends. That friend that you know has been acting differently, maybe ask them about their lives and how they are. Who knows, maybe they need to talk to a good friend. When someone tells you something that they are embarrassed about, dont be shallow and make fun of them, hold them close and comfort them, tell them that its ok. No one is perfect.
We need to Truely SEE people for who they are, and Truely LISTEN to people when they speak.
How else will we be able to find those amazing peculiar treasures of this world?!

Innocence

Watching a litte child play; a little girl playing dress up with a tutu and a pair of ballet slippers pretending to be a dancer. A little boy having a "sword fight" with the imaginary pirates in the backyard. Watching them you see how they are so fragile yet so imaginative, so carefree and so innocent.
Their big curious eyes stare up at you as they wish they were big and "grown-up" like you, when in reality, you wish the roles were reversed...you wish you were a little kid again.
I wish i was little and could play dress-up and have tea parties with my teddy bear again. Hoping and wishing that all these questions about what i wanna be when i "grow-up" and where i wanna go to school would just evaporate into thin air. If you asked a little girl those questions the answer would be easy as pie, she would go to Princeton because that is where the princes go to school and she wants to be a princess when she "grow up". Or a little boy would say "I'm gonna be a racecar driver so i dont need to go to school." Only if it were that simple. If only our decisions didnt come with so much baggage. Then if we make the wrong decision there are so many consequences that we end up having to deal with. Time after time we get hit by wave after wave of decisions and life choices and there just doesnt seem to be an end. ...but here's the catch, there is someone that will help us with any choice or trial we come to. This person can turn those barriers into bridges and he is more than just a friend...more than just a Best friend...he's our father, our daddy.
We might make some decisions that wipe us of our innocence and the consequences cut us down at our knees, but he will always take us back, God will always take us back. He stands with his arms wide open, loving us with his unbreakable and unending love no matter what decisions we make, and he also will help us to make the right decisions so that we can live our live to glorify him.
God is my father, my daddy, my everything.
I hope he is to you too.
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.

With Everything

With EVERYTHING, with EVERYTHING we will shout for your Glory, with EVERYTHING with EVERYTHING we will shout forth your praise, with EVERYTHING with EVERYTHING we will shout forth your Glory with EVERYTHING with EVERYTHING we will shout forth your praise, our hearts they CRY be glorified be lifted high above ALL things. For YOU our KING with everything we will SHOUT forth your PRAISE with EVERYTHING with EVERYTHING we will shout forth your GLORY with EVERYTHING with EVERYTHING we will shout forth your PRAISE OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHOAAAA WHOOAAAAAAAAAAA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHOAAAA WHOOAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

These words i have heard countless times and yet everytime it hits me just as hard, if not harder than the last time. We NEED to hold our arms out wide, giving God EVERYTHING we have, we need to use everything we have for his glory.

We can't just pick and choose the things that we want to give to God, we need to give him absolutely EVERYTHING we have! All our worries, our fears, our lies that we have told, the things we have done wrong, even the things that we love. He wants the good and bad things in our lives, he will never let us fall, he never lets go, he will never turn his back on us and he will never tell our secrets. He LOVES us!

Go to a mirror...look at the reflection in that mirror...that absolutely BEAUTIFUL creation that is reflected in that mirror...yea im talkin about you...God absolutely is in LOVE with you!
You may have been rejected in the past and you may have been hurt and broken and you may feel like your heart is in a million pieces shattered on the ground but God will always be there with his arms wide open. All you have to do is give him everything you've got and give him your ALL. You can't be half in and half out, God tells us that when you are wishy washy in your faith and when you are sitting on a fence between him and the world that he would rather have you reject him than half-heartedly follow him! He wants all of you, and even if you do at some point reject him, he will ALWAYS be there with open arms if you want to come back to him! He loves you soo incredibly much!



Why Fragile Love, Fragile Life

I often have noticed that people throw the word "Love" around as if its nothing to them. They say "I Love You!" just to say it, and they dont really truely mean it. I have seen some relationships, whether it be between friends or boyfriend and girlfriend or family members, where they believe that they can throw that "Love" around because it is indestructable and it can never be broken. In reality, that Love is Fragile. I have seen Love broken, cracked, shattered into a million pieces, but yet even when that happens to someone, they continue to throw it around because that is all they have ever known. I want to say that Love, is not something to throw around, it is not something that is easily gained, it is not something easily fixed once it is broken. We need to stop throwing around the word "Love" as if its nothing to us. Love is so much more than many of us ever could imagine. I have only been in love once, and that is with my savior, Jesus Christ. I am here as an example to tell you that that Love that Christ has for us is greater than any kind of Love you can get from another person or thing or animal. That Love that Christ has will NEVER end, no matter what we do, no matter how many times we get hurt, no matter how many times we sin, no matter what those sins are, Christ is always there with open arms waiting for you to jump into them. I know for me, this Love is overwhelming, it is extrememly hard to comprehend. But the thought that Christ is always there for me and that he always loves me can get me through anything and everything that life throws at me. "I will never give you more than you can handle" that was what God promised us, and i hold firm to that promise.
Fragile Life, when i first think of fragile life i think of a newborn baby. So little, so innocent and so fragile. As that newborn baby grows up it makes mistakes, it lies to its parents, it hurts people it never meant to hurt, i does things that it may have never planned to do, and for some people...all those things feel to be too much. It saddens my heart to see that so many people and so many teens feel that there is no other way to deal with the events life throws at us than to take their own life. An old friend of mine thought that way and succeeded in taking her own life. No one knew exactly why she did it, or what led to her deciding that final step, but it makes me so sad to think that she felt that was her only choice. Life is so fragile, and most of us hardly even realize it. That decision she made to take her life she can never take back. One thought that can be planted into someones mind, along with the events happening after that that they have no control over, leads to them believing the lies that the devil has told them and they feel that there is no way out but to take their own life. Whenever you feel alone, go to God, whenever you feel as though u have no where else to go, go to God, whenever you think your life is falling apart and you dont know what to do, go to God. He is standing there with open arms and is willing to take you in every second of every day. Its your choice whether you accept his gift of salvation that he holds in the palm of his hand. He gave his life for us, he let people crucify him so that he could save the lives of the sinners (us) here on earth.
Love is Fragile, Life is Fragile